Bluer Than Blue
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
-shaking off the long distance saddie-
A few would prefer it but most of us would be dreaded to be involved in a long distance relationship. It is being lots of miles away. It's not being physically together with a loved one. It's celebrating special occasions apart. There's the constant longing and the feel of being alone sometimes. And to add insult to injury, people around would comment, "Long distance relationships never work". Then there would be the constant anxiety, the worry, the emptiness, but I must mention the excitement, the extra sweetness one acquires, the surprises and it would always feel like a teen romance, like our first puppy love :)
I am no Dr. Love but here are a few things someone on a long distance relationship can do to keep the love alive. :)
Commit - don't be half-hearted when you both decide to stay in a relationship despite the distance. Make sure that the feeling is true and mutual, because if it isn't real in the first place, I tell you, the effort would go to waste. You'll easily feel tired, lonely, and you might end up fighting, break up, or worse hating each other. Furthermore, discuss how you two can make it work and for how long the distance would last. Forever gonna be apart? That’s never going to exist. If so, end the relationship otherwise. Do not read on.
Trust - get a dose of it, nope, loads of trust. Yeah, it's really hard especially now that you're not going to see each other more often and you both would be living in separate worlds. It's not abnormal for the heart to go wander because of absence. You might be imagining the worst case scenarios, you might be anxious that he/she might cheat on you. Don't be paranoid, trust, if he/she doesn't call you in two days or longer, maybe your lover went to the beach and was trapped in a deserted island. Chances are, he/she was abducted by aliens and calling you would be a miracle. Joking aside, these are the odds. Trust with all your heart and fret not. :)
Communicate - it's a no-brainer. This would be one of the tangible things you both must work upon. Communication wouldn't be just a feeling, it must be acted. Thanks to the very wide choices of media, you can call, send an SMS, chat, Skype, email each other or you may opt to send the timeless love letters via snail mail. Choose whatever suits both of you, whichever you prefer. We’re not living in a cave right? This is the 21st century; we can’t expect to have dead airs during the entire long distance affair.
Be honest – all the time. It’s not fair to lie to each other or ever hide the truth from the one we love. Yes, honesty could be part of the communication and an element of trust but I just have to make emphasis. Just tell the truth, no matter how much it might hurt, no white lies, ever!
Visit – the distance between Singapore from Manila is the same distance between Manila and Singapore. My point is both party must exert effort. It’s a relationship in the first place. If your pocket would allow the plane tickets, go have that passport ready in your bag. As much as there is a variety of media, there are lots and lots more ways to visit. Take some time to travel, grab the chances to go into a new place and visit your lovey-dovey. :) Meet the classmates, meet the family, meet the friends, and indulge in your new favourite place on Earth. This would also be a perfect time to experience new things – may it be of different culture, a new cuisine, a dance lesson, an exciting plunge to a foreign beach, etc.
Gifts – sure the value of giving is not just practiced by Santa Claus. This is also an opportunity be creative and romantic. The gesture would be highly appreciated. :)
Live your life – your life isn’t all about the long distance relationship. You have work to do, you’re still living with your parents, and you have school projects to make. Surround yourself with positivity, attend church mass, and go on movie dates with your girlfriends. Enjoy the Saturday nights out with your colleagues, play basketball, and learn a new language. There are lots of other things to do, seize them. :)
Love has its different forms and relationships don’t always come as a packaged deal that we wished for. It’s a decision, love your choice. And there are no certain rules to make a relationship last a lifetime, just keep on loving. :)
0 comments
You also have something to say. :) Please drop your comment here :)