a stroke of genius and lots of inspiration
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
My blog has been an out-pour of emotions...
bad emotions...
RANTS to be more direct.
And let me have a check, I got tired of it.
Not with blogging but with venting out rants!
It got me idle for a lot of times, like, seriously, whoever wants to be around with negativity? Not me! I've had too much!
I haven't yet mastered the act of being positive. As a warning, I AM NOT THE MOST OPTIMISTIC person that you'll know.
I'm not a ball of laughter.
I'm not the joker.
I'm the observant.
I just sit there quietly, making up scenes in my mind. I guess, I have slapped, punched, threw whatever to and killed a lot of people in my head. I just got to get it off my head and my chest.
I know I'm way too far from being a genius, wasn't born as one, not even the slightest effort to be one but it just looks good for a title, hihi It makes it the more interesting to skim through this whole blog dedicated to my ENLIGHTENMENT. Heavy word! Darn! Too much for the title and explaining why it's a bit far-fetched from the message I'm really pointing out here. Let's be serious, you guys :p
I came into a point in my life where I just got no time to complain :) Not that I'm earning a million if someone signs up with me or something, I'm,just not there. YET :p But, career wise, though everything is still uncertain, I AM HAPPY. Call me anything but quitting my former job and juggling with two to three or how many more (I guess, I lost count) now, makes me the more excited to wake up everyday :) I feel bad if I can't work. It feels like I had to pressure myself (yes, the motivational pressure) every single minute of my waking hours and not have a second of thinking over how I could possibly do things better. Now I can say, I'm giving my all, my best, all the time (or maybe 90 % of the time).
COMPLIMENTS have really made the difference.
It's not that I didn't hear appreciation before; but now,everything feels so right. I am being thanked, praised for all the good things I have done. I don't need to beg for it. I don't need to wait for some anonymous feedback report.
I have now valued and practiced PUNCTUALITY. I know I'm just not the early bird before because of so many damn reasons! But now, hey! I even wake up earlier than my alarm clock. :) I am inspired to work. I am inspired to become a maverick asset of the company. I am inspired to inspire others.
FREEDOM. The flexibility of the schedule. The independence and co-dependence of the tasks. The respectful, non-hierarchic structure.
One of the reason maybe of me having all those negative baggage before is the idea that "I'm just following orders."
Contract was to commitment.
Employment was to conform.
I felt that I had no voice. I felt bad when I couldn't follow the orders. I was too afraid to break the rules. I was too stern that I simply said, "All is well" when it wasn't. I voluntarily imprisoned myself with my the regulations. I considered the workplace as hell and my superiors as antagonists.
I just wasn't ready for the harsh reality of life.
I was too afraid to talk. I was too afraid to have my voice heard.
In the end, that employment had given me more than what I have offered. I have learned a lot about compromise and adherence to what's right and what's good, all the time, even if it the odds are not in my favor. I have learned about composure. I have learned empathy. I have learned the importance of life and those who consider it invaluable, and those who treat life as priceless.
I have learned things the hard way may be an understatement. I've had contemplation that sometimes led to sorrowful regrets. Now, I can only look back but not go back. The only way is forward. I have known my potential. I have known my strength. I'll have a narcissistic proclamation that I've released the genius in me! :p
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