j & j

Hopefully you will stumble upon this and read this in your own time; when you're old enough to understand things but young enough to have a chance to spend time with one person to whom you're so dear.

Five years ago today, you were born to be the reason for someone's life.You're such a beautiful boy, molded in the image of your father. Oh, the resemblance! May you grow up remembering the times he held you in his arms (damn boy, you were too young to even care then!)

I wish I could tell you exactly how much he loves you. You turned him into a man!  (Yes, you did.) As he told me about you, he mentioned how you became a blessing in the most confusing (or even darkest)  days of his life. He got lost but glad that he found his way because of you.

Miracle.

You will be told that you were not expected, but you were a welcomed present for him! You became his inspiration.

I hope that you will grow up being told of how he took care of you on your first sight of the world. I wish that I could tell you how there's always a touch of love and longing every time he utters your name. He may not have showered you with gifts and toys but boy, he could have shown you the "wild things" (hahaha, that's what he said) if only he was given the chance.

I hope that you will grow up loving him despite the distance created between you. May you always find in your heart a place for him too. May you not blame him for the lost times. He never truly left you because you remained in his heart. (You're literally etched on his heart.) I tell you he would teach you how to ride your bicycle, how to survive the waves of the sea, how to get a girlfriend... ooops hehe

May you not entertain the feeling of hate for me. I may be one reason for his absence but I'm hopeful that you will someday understand. You're a smart boy! I'll forever understand that he won't love me with all his heart because there's a space right there for you. But I'm completely okay with that because I love whom he loves.

Zion.

I wish that someday in zion, in a not so distant future; may he be able to hold you in his arms again. May I see again the biggest grin on his cute charming face.

May you continue to love him, despite or in spite of....

So, today on your special today, I wish you well and I hope that you will grow up to be a healthy, smart, strong and sensible boy showered with love and affection. You are a precious gem ☺ May you continue to be a light to the world and bring joy to the people who care a lot about you.