A Princess' Wish
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
I grew up with the belief that Prince Charming would do come in the right place and time, he would rescue me, damsel in distress, and we’ll live happily ever after. As a child, I’ve already had dreams of love stories like those of Rapunzel, Ariel, Snow White and Cinderella. I wished my knight in shining armor would show up from faraway land. I grew up believing in romance and true and pure love and love that lasts forever.
Yes, I was such a hopeless romantic but I made sure no one would notice. I made myself very unlovable. So I’ve hidden my inner desires of finding true love with walls of false bravery and pretended to be disgusted with suitors. I tried hard to be really insensitive. Because no matter how I believed in the beauty of love, I’ve always known that it would still be painful, in one way or another.
When guys lined up and offered me the moon and stars; I shooed them away with sarcasm and trash talk. I got interested with a few but I decided to stick out with being just friends. Sooner one guy really had me fall head over heels, got me heartbroken with busted promises. I was only fifteen and that evil guy was armed with a handsome face, killer smile and undeniable charm, he was smart too, but he ran away without notice. He disappeared like a bubble and that awful ending to a would-be great love story led us to being strangers again, it was one great friendship he would soon forget.
Then I swore to myself love is over rated, I’d make no use of it, love is just good for starters, I just can’t afford to lose myself crazy over some guy again. Never.
So I started to put the walls back and determined to keep my heart frozen cold, incapable of feeling any amount of love from some lover. The previous pretense of being a man-hater got worse when I told myself never to trust guys again. Yes, I still trusted my guy friends just because there are just my friends. But when it came to going for a romantic relationship again, I was really careful with my mending heart. I listened to good guy’s promises but made sure to myself that I would never believe any of them great stories ever again. I can’t be fooled. I should never make myself be deceived and fall for another stupid act.
But living a life hating men, I was afraid that I might die an old maid. It was such a distressing thought. I was just trying to keep my cool, be happy with myself until the right guy for me would come along. I know I can’t keep my heart to myself forever, I had to share love with someone else. But it’s too tricky to determine who the right guy is when the wrong ones are so damn good looking with over-the-top charm and cheesy lines to smooth talk me.
One day, one guy would be very patient with me; he’d handle my heart carefully as his own. One guy would understand my very thoughts, words and actions and he would know when I mean things. He’d be the guy who’d make me happy every second of my life. He’d make me his queen and he’d love me for the rest of our lives.
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