Wonologues

One of my earliest childhood memories is of Nanay preparing a good-old Pinoy breakfast. She's setting up the table with my rice topped with Star Margarine, a piece of fried fish (her favorite matambaka) minus the eye (coz my lil sis Amay already ate them) and a cup of sikwate (chocolate drink at its best-est). She was standing tall with her slim figure, a stern posture, snob face and grey hair. she smelled of honey and a hint of smile.

She took care of all of us, her apo's (grandchildren). She didn't mind. She didn't care. She would manually fan my younger cousin Cha-Cha to sleep. She would make tableas (cocoa rounds) from scratch and would sell them in the neighborhood carrying them in her baskets. She was strong. She looked like a superhero to me. The basket was heavy and she carried it without any sign of difficulty under the heat of the sun. I thought if she could do that while taking care of us all us, she could do anything and everything!

But as we all grew up, she grew older too. Her salt and pepper hair has turned all-white. I noticed she went shorter, her back arched and her stern slim figure now looks brittle and fragile. Her wrinkled face looks like a poker face. It's too wrinkled to tell if she's smiling or in pain. But she talks a lot and aloud. I don't exactly know why she's saying those things, most of her words hurt and I don't know what to feel. She's afraid to die and everyday she struggles like a baby waiting to have her clothes changed, to be fed and bathed. The once strict authority of the family has turned into a dependent childlike flimsy body. And though sometimes it feels like I need to pity her but I don't. She doesn't need my pity. She needs my care, our care.

I see her face brighten up whenever we have visitors. And it would seem like she was pretending to be deaf with us. She'd talk a lot with the relatives and neighbors and friends like she used to when she was stronger - interrogating everyone to the last detail. She could still afford to bully the little devil himself-Deo hahaha. She'd make faces to make my nephews cry and it would surprisingly make her happy. She wouldn't eat fish and veggies anymore. Leche flan has become her favorite. She would eat a whole pan. Haha. She'd eat as slow as a snail but she can eat a lot! Haha. She'd eat whatever's on the table!

Baby Nanay is now like a baby. We have to feed her, bathe her and take care of her and she would make us happy with her random bratty acts. haha I thought I need not make this an MMK entry-wanna-be coz this is a birthday dedication after all!

Happy Birthday Baby Nanay! Lotsalove!